I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller..
I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller..
Maybe it’s time my life takes another drastic change. My post high school years so far have given me new dreams, ways of thinking, and a new set of beliefs. I am glad to say that I have ventured far from my evangelical roots. This has been the single most difficult process I’ve ever been through, and am still going through. I will say, however, that it is the truest thing I’ve ever done. My heart aches as I see the pain that I’m putting my parents through.
Being brainwashed is a bitch.
I do still believe in a personal God, that is something that I could never deny. I experience God every day and I believe that God can be seen in everyone. I still believe in some form of Christian mysticism as well. I believe in the ability to hear God and to be led by God. I also believe that we have a choice as to how involved we want to be with the creator, and we have the choice to ignore the voice of God. I believe in miracles, and events not understood by science. Speaking of science, I do trust in it as well. Science reveals truths about the universe, including God’s interaction with it. I believe that Jesus was a real person that revealed the heart of a good, happy God, who is pleased with humanity.
I could go on with my beliefs, but it would hardly contribute to the point that I am trying to make. Right now I’m focusing in on my sexuality. I believe that human sexuality is very complex, but that science holds many answers to what sexuality is. In short, I would describe myself as being homosexual.
Could I be with a woman to appease my family and secure my spot in their idea of Heaven? Yes, but why would I? I do believe that Heaven is real, just as I believe it is open to people of all sexual orientations. There is not a straight Heaven and a gay Hell. Sorry, but I dare not subscribe to such a limited teaching of eternity.
This is my life, this is my sexuality, this is my decision, and this is my faith. I am not ashamed, convicted, or guilty. I am happy, proud, and I’m still in love with Jesus. I made the decision over a year ago to not rush to any conclusions concerning my beliefs on sexuality. It has been a year of being single and figuring things out. I feel like I have come out on the other side being able to say that yes, I am gay, and yes, that is okay.
I feel limitless.
In a world that still thinks the Earth is flat, I am here to show them that it is round. This is my calling, and this is my mission. I will do everything peacefully and continue to let the liquid love of my Creator flow through me like a divine river. I am yoked to the One that is above all else, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS MY BLOG AND I WILL SAY WHAT I WANT
If you feel like nobody is supporting you, it is probably because you are paving a new path.
I am falling in love with NYC already. It really is fast-paced. Nobody is going to wait for you— you either keep up or you leave. This is especially true for the wonderful world of fashion. I am going to continue to pursue modeling, yes, but I have really found a love for the fashion industry as a whole. I can easily say it is the first industry that I have truly fallen in love with. I want to model, but I also LOVE clothes. Like, I really really really love a good garment.
I’m not sure what will happen with my life here in NYC, but I do feel it is headed in the perfect direction, and I could not be happier.
Anonymous said: Jw, what's your thought on homosexuality and Christianity? Do you believe it's a sin?
The one conclusion I’ve come to regarding sexuality is that it has no power to separate any human being from God. It is the effects of one’s sexuality that can potentially formulate sin. No matter what your sexuality may be, it is only as sinful as you allow it to be. The belief that homosexuality is a sin has caused an unmeasurable amount of grief, depression, anxiety, fear, division, and death. I recognize that these things are not from God, which is what caused my thinking to start to shift. I believe in committed, monogamous relationships. Even more than that, however, I believe in grace that is sufficient for whatever choices are made. To answer your question more directly, no, I do not believe that homosexuality is inherently sinful. I believe that it has always existed throughout the course of humanity, and it should be embraced through the lens of Christ, not through the lens of judgement and condemnation.
I’ve witnessed and been the victim of homophobia throughout life, yet sometimes I am still surprised by it. Today it was raining and I went into a Rite Aid near Times Square, NYC. As I was making my purchase the cashier overheard a rather loud gay man speaking in a manner that was, well, gay. This cashier proclaimed, in front of me, that ‘the gays’ are the scum of the city. He also looked at the man and said “disgusting”. He also went on to explain to his co-worker that he would never be gay. “I like pussy”, he explained. She nodded her head in agreement and I stood there, dumbfounded. I am in New York City and I just experienced that. This is suppose to be one of the places that homosexual people can feel at ease, and suffer less discrimination. I don’t care what your religious views are on homosexuality— there is never an excuse for homophobia. After all it is a fear, and fear never finds its origins in God.
I have the honor of working at New York Fashion week and I have to wear all black every day. I don’t want to wear the same thing so I’m making subtle alterations for each day that I work. It is fashion week, after all :)
TO THINK THAT A WEEK AGO I WAS MAKING SALADS IN MEMPHIS, TN.
WELCOME TO MY NEW AND MUCH IMPROVED LIFE.
I’M SO GRATEFUL FOR EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW.
— Jean-Paul Sartre (via philosophy-quotes)
#day3 today I’m happy because I got the most incredible job. #ftspermlamp #ftoversizedsilverware #fthappybdaysign #happybdayjodi #vscocam
this is my new dining room… sperm lamp + giant spoon/fork
All I want in life is to be one level below Beyoncé
Well I’m in NYC now and this is for real— I actually live here.
Everyone said I couldn’t do it and I wouldn’t make it.
Everyone told me how expensive it is and assumed that I had a ton of money saved, but I didn’t. Nobody seemed to think this was possible.
Well, I’ve been here for a day and I have a place to live and a really good job lined up. I am so under-qualified for the position I got, but they hired me for my personality.
Just keep pushing, keep stretching, and keep dreaming. Never give up, and don’t limit yourself. Your dreams are not meant for tomorrow, they are meant for today. You cannot wait until you are ready, you just have to go.
Melissa and I boarded a one way bus to NYC. We are on the bus all night long and we are so excited to finally get there! We left with nowhere to live when we get there in the morning. That is right, no place to rest our heads tomorrow night. We don’t have a whole lot of money either. Us getting on the bus was an act of faith. We were contacted like an hour ago about a room, and it looks like there is a good chance we will get it, although we are not sure yet. Tonight is so special to me though.
I’m thinking about all the times people have told me “you can’t” “that is stupid” “you have to plan”… the list goes on and on of the general disapproval of what I’m doing. I also think about myself as a child and as a teenager. I remember being excited about getting my first job back in high school. I remember thinking that my minimum wage job in small town Michigan was the most amazing thing ever. I’m thinking about how much I did not believe in myself and how afraid I was of the world around me. Getting through a day of school without being crippled by anxiety and having a panic attack use to be such an accomplishment. I was shy, sad, and I did not love myself— at all.
I sit here now, twenty years of age, on a bus to New York City. I have learned to love myself. I have learned that God always comes through. He will always take care of me and give me the courage to say yes to my dreams. I am about to enter a whole new level of excellence, success, and happiness. God gets all the credit. He is my lover, my support system, my brother, and my friend. What are you waiting for? Say yes to Him— and watch your wildest dreams come true.
I am so honored to be used to change people’s lives. This is the stuff that reminds me why I do what I do. To see a life change is nothing short of incredible.
I also love the shock of an unexpected blessing. My boss invited me to his house and he literally cried his eyes out as he managed to utter the words “you have made such an impact on my life”.
God gets all the credit. Liquid love is always a good thing.